I MESSED UP DAMNIT!!!!! So, I was almost asleep last night, when I hear this “riiinnnnngggg-rriiiiinnnnngggg”, and I answered it, without looking… It was Mr. P, He asked me what was up, I said “Nothing”, then he asked why he hadn’t heard from me, and I said “Why haven’t I heard from you”. He explains how he has sent me three IM’s, and of course, I said I didn’t get them, just like he says that he didn’t get my calls. I tell him that I don’t wanna talk and I’m going back to bed, then I hang up. Damn, I was really not wanting to talk to him. He then hits me up on IM, and asks me what was wrong, I said “The players change, but your games stay the same, that’s my problem”. He says “Babe, if I would have heard the phone, you know I would have answered it”, WHATEVER. I say again that I’m going to bed, and I don’t wanna talk, he says “Is it that you just don’t wanna talk to me”, I said “Yes, that’s what it is, I’m going to bed, and I won’t be responding to anything else you send, bye” He then sends “I love You” three times. I am thinking to myself, why do you love me when I’m upset with you? Why can’t you “Love” me all the time? This morning I sign on to Yahoo IM, under his account, and the 1st thing that pops up is a message from that same chick that he has been in constant contact with since I left. The message said “If you do come over, can you bring some movies, at least one scary one”… So, I guess he has plans tonight… hmmmm. Of course, if I mentioned this, he wouldn’t explain himself, he would go off on me about why I’m being so nosey, and why would I go through his private things. So, I just keep this to myself, file it away with all the other ammo I have, and when I get home, I will fire it all off. He told me that there is NOTHING going on between them, they are just friends. But, if that’s the case, when I mention I have a problem with this “Innocent relationship” they have, he says, I will minimize contact with her, and still NOTHING has been done. If they aren’t texting, their IM’ing, or calling each other… 8 months this has been going on. I feel helpless, because I can’t do anything from out here.
My friend KB is going through something very similar to me, the big difference is, that both her and her man have children, not together, but both have boys that are close enough to be blood brothers. I feel bad, because I cannot give her the same advice as I usually would, because I am going through it too, all I can say is.. “We will get through this”.. And I sincerely mean it. I know these things don’t seem like much to your average person, but I guarantee, if you were the one that was constantly lied to, or the one who kept catching your significant other doing stupid things, then maybe you would understand. It’s so easy to say “Leave him, he’s not worth it”, but it’s just not that simple.
I’m going to leave you with this:
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” -Raymond Hull
“The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.” -Bertrand Russell
“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.” – Dolly Parton
“I should like to see any kind of man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
“A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.” – Edgar Watson Howe
Have a great day.