Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness

Cold Water

A man went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a secluded, rural area of the state. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather….are these plates clean?

His grandfather replied…. those plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and finish your meal.

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of this plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks…so he asked again……are you sure these plates are clean?

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says…..I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don’t ask me about it anymore!

Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, Grandfather’s dog started to growl and would not let him pass…. Grandfather, your dog won’t let me out.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, Grandfather shouted, COLDWATER, GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Say Hello to my new edition… “Sancho”…. We got a puppy. Not exactly the type I had in mind, but Mr. P picked him out so, I will love him just as if he were my ideal pick. I am hope he doesn’t turn out to be a psycho dog, looking crazy or become obese. He is a little Chihuahua. Sancho is Mexican slang for “The other man”. I thought it was cuter than “Taco”, that’s what my hubby wanted to name him.  The breeder we adopted him from says that he is 4 months old, and has reached his target size, he is only 4 lbs, but I think he will get bigger. He is up to date on all his shots, but he will still need to be registered at the vet, and will need to go through the same import prerequisites that the cats do. Mr. P bought him a jacket, can you belive this. He went to Wal-Mart with his new buddy and they went shopping. How cute is that? I wish I could have been there.

THIS IS WHAT I HOPE SANCHO DOES NOT TURN OUT TO LOOK LIKE!!!!!

One wish Genie

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle. She picked it up & rubbed it, & lo & behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, ” Nope, sorry. Three-wish genies are a myth. Most of us are just single types. I’m a one-wish genie. So…what’ll it be?

The woman didn’t hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other. It will bring about world peace & harmony.

The Genie looked at the map & exclaimed: “Lady, be reasonable! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m, out of shape after being in a bottle for centuries. I’m good but not THAT good! Don’t think it can be done. Make another wish & please make it a bit more reasonable.”

The woman thought for a minute & said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is great in bed and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful…and handsome. That’s what I wish for….a good man I can marry and make my mate.”

The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and said “Show me the damn map again.

 

Last night KG, CW, Marz & I all played spades, it was cool, but of course they beat us two out of three. After the game we went to Poetry/Open Mic night which was okay. I was just too damn tired from answering either e-mails or calls all throughout the night/morning from Mr. P. He is so indecisive, he can’t seem to grasp the concept of making a decision on his own. But I would rather have input then to be disappointed like I have in the past.

My Horoscope for Today:

The strongest substance in nature is water — it knows how to move around obstacles. That brain of yours is in hyper-drive today, so make the most of it! Your rational side is especially powerful, so it’s a good time to deal with practicalities and the basics of getting through the day. Still not done clearing the air? Still feel as if there’s something you need to say? Well, go ahead. Just make sure you’re finished by tonight, because the heavens are ready to banish all such unpleasant moments to the past. To cooperate, all you have to do is finish up on that diatribe you started days ago — and then resolve to let it go, permanently. Are you up for it or what?

WHAT! I am too tired today to even think straight. I have yet to catch up on my much-needed sleep. As far as my brain being on “Hyper-Drive”…. I don’t think so, I need a pick-me-up. If I was home, I would be asleep right now. I have promised a co-worker that I would have dinner with him. We had a pretty bad falling out about 6 months ago, and really haven’t spoke much since. I was surprised when he asked me to join him. I guess that’s what my horoscope means by “Clearing the air”, It’s a good thing to get past this. It’s 2010, My Year, let the past be the past.

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