You tell your guy a ton, but it’s a myth that divulging every detail equals a healthier union. “Even though you’re part of a twosome, your relationship will thrive if you maintain a private side,” says Marti Olsen Laney, PsyD, coauthor of The Introvert and Extrovert in Love. “Plus, some things might hurt your partner, so keeping them quiet prevents needless stress on your bond.” Top relationship experts agree on the five most important secrets to keep from your guy.
Oversharing can actually hurt your bond. Here, what should stay on the down low.
1. Past Hookups
He knows you didn’t spend your days in a convent pre-him, but that doesn’t mean he wants mental images of you getting frisky with old flames. Men may ask about other dudes, but what they’re fishing to hear is that they’re the best. Avoid lying by not answering questions about your sexual past. When he does dig, tell him he’s the only one you can think about in bed.
2. How You Spend Your Money
As long as you don’t share funds, your boyfriend doesn’t need to know where your dough goes. It stresses out guys to see you buy things they deem unnecessary — like clothes or shoes. The quick fix: When he compliments a dress, don’t give him the rundown on where you got it and how much it cost. And if he asks, tell him it was waaay less than the big-screen TV he splurged on.
3. The Way You Feel About His Family
Warning: Dissing his clan will do damage to your relationship. So even if his mom is Queen Bitch, keep your mouth shut. The minute you say something slightly negative, he will feel like you’re making him choose between you and them and resent you for it. If they’re truly awful, avoid being around them whenever you can.
4. Innocent Flirtations
You love your guy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t chat up other men. In fact, being flirty is healthy as long as it doesn’t go further. It may be tempting to brag that you still get male attention, especially if you feel your guy takes you for granted, but telling him about the neighbor who checks out your ass is just going to make him feel insecure. Keep quiet, and take pleasure in the fact that you’ve still got it going on.
5. What You Really Think of His Gift
You’re bound to get a few doozies from your guy. Instead of slamming him, find one good thing about each present. Men aren’t superexpressive, so a gift is their way of saying they care. If you reject it, you reject him. Next time, drop hints so he gets you something you like — for example, mention a store you love. (COSMO)
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