The average dude fabricates something six times a day — that’s twice as often as women. So, to try to get why guys are so, uh, crafty, we reached out to male relationship experts. Here, they list the most common whoppers men tell their girlfriends and wives — and what the real deal is behind each.
Lie # 10: “I’m Stuck in Traffic”
“He figures it’s much easier to just say this than to try to explain the real reason he’s running late,” says John Amodeo, author of The Authentic Heart. “Remember, men aren’t as good at communicating as women are.” The funny thing is, a guy will toss this line out even if what held him up is perfectly legitimate. Still, you shouldn’t let it slide — it’s a lie nonetheless.
Lie # 9: “It Wasn’t That Expensive”
“Men like toys, and they don’t like sensing your disapproval, even if you don’t share a bank account,” Amodeo says. He could also be dropping this fib to try to prove he’s responsible with money, says Barton Goldsmith, author of Emotional Fitness for Intimacy. “He doesn’t want you to think that if you do share funds down the line, he’s going to blow them all on things like plasma TVs.”
Lie # 8: “I’m on My Way”
Guys usually throw you this line when you’re making them meet you at some event they don’t want to attend — like, say, your family reunion. He’s stalling, but he’s also being pouty. Consider: He can’t exactly refuse to go without enduring serious repercussions from you, and he can’t very well throw a temper tantrum in front of your pop-pop. So saying this and then showing up late is his way of gaining a wee amount of control.
Lie # 7: “I Didn’t Have Too Much to Drink”
This lie could point to a serious problem — and we’re not just talking about your relationship. If he says it often he could have an alcohol issue, Goldsmith says. You need to talk to him about how concerned you are, but watch the timing. “That’s definitely a conversation you need to have when he’s sober,” Amodeo adds.
Lie # 6: “Sorry, I Missed Your Call”
Lie # 5: “My Battery Died,” and
Lie # 4: “I Had No Signal,”
These three lines all mean the same thing: I screened your call. Why? “Often men will feed you these lies because they’re afraid to tell you to back off a bit, that they need a little alone time,” Amodeo says. You might want to ease up on the checking in and let him miss you more.
Lie # 3: “No, Your Butt Doesn’t Look Big in That”
Look, if you assail him with the question in the first place, you’re really just asking to be thrown this all-purpose mollifier. “Every guy has a buddy who’s told him, ‘I answered this question wrong once, and my girlfriend wouldn’t have sex with me for a year,’ ” Goldsmith says. This is the one safe response he knows, so there’s no way he’s going to risk the worst by straying from it. If you want an honest opinion, go ask one of your girls instead.
Lie # 2: “This Will Be My Last Beer”
Our experts say this man-lie delivered over the phone means he wants to get you off ASAP so he can spend more time with his buddies. The thing is, even if he says it three times in a night, each time he believes it, Goldsmith says. It’s like when you vow this will be your last cookie…five times in a row.
Lie # 1: “Nothing’s Wrong, I’m Fine”
A whopping 52 percent of men have told their girlfriend this line. To find out why — and how to deal if your guy uses it on you — check out our March issue, on newsstands now.
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