The truth about women…

It has come to my attention that most men don’t know sh*t  about women and why we do the things that we do. Here is a little of what you SHOULD know.  

1). EVERY woman hates to be spoken to in a manner that makes them think that YOU think they are stupid. Women go their whole lives with the world treating them like they aren’t as smart as men. DON’T think they are going to take that sh*t at home or in their relationship. Women are NOT stupid. They just give you the benefit of the doubt. Even when they should doubt your benefits.

2). Dude, NOT saying sh*t is the same as lying when it comes to women. Nothing will make a woman want to stab you in the face more than you trying some technicality sh*t on them. Go on and say some sh*t like: ” Well I didn’t lie exactly… I just didn’t bring it up.” You will get stabbed in the face.

3). God made Lilith and she wouldn’t obey him. God made Eve, and SHE didn’t obey him. So if the creator of the universe itself can’t get women to listen to what he had to say, what the fugg makes you think YOU have a chance.

4). Chances are your woman is not a crazy b*tch. She has the ability to BE a crazy b*tch, but she keeps it on a leash. But if you give her a reason to, she’ll take crazy b*tch off the leash and sick her on your ass. When your woman truly loves you, she doesn’t want to be a crazy b*tch towards you. Chances are YOU brought that ish out of her by breaking the primary rule…. talking to her like she was stupid. Get shot in the face if ya want to.

5). When a woman says she wants a nice, sweet and sensitive man, she is a LIAR. She will say that she wants a man like that, but the dude she is going to crave is the one that gives her flowers along with an “OOOOOHHH” face and issues.  So when they start talking that boolsh*t about wanting a Ralph Tresvant ass dude, ignore them.

6). For women great sex.. really fulfilling sex…knock their ass out the bed sex, is rare. So if you make a woman convulse till she damn near has an aneurysm, you can pretty much get away with whatever you want to.  Not for a long period of time mind you, because eventually her stankin’ ass friends are going to talk some sense into her. But for the short-term, if you make a woman OOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!” really well and consistently, You pretty much have the run of the land….until she stabs you in the face. Which she will do.

7). PLEASE know that women are more vicious than you could ever be. If you get busted cheating, PLEASE note that any man you know is fair game. A woman isn’t going to fugg some random dude to get back at you. Nooooo. She is going to fugg someone you know. Like your boy, your daddy, or that dude at work that you HATE. Yeah him. Imagine THAT dude in her mouth. Yup. Women are the masters at revenge. If you hurt them, they will hurt you 10 fold, homey.

8). To a woman, holding her purse means that you care enough about her happiness to forgo what other people think and ONLY worry about her desires. She knows you look like a fool. She knows you look like a b*tch. But if you are willing to look like all types of ish for her, that means a lot. And you’ll probably get your rewarded very well. *WINK*

9). Women have feelings. They express those feelings. They are NOT men and they aren’t supposed to act like it. Soooo telling a woman to man-up could get you stabbed in the face.

10). If a woman wants to cheat on you, face it dude. You’ll never find out. Women are the masters at cheating. MASTERS.

11). A woman’s coochie knows if it would fugg you when she meets you. But soon as you say something stupid, her head WILL kick in and halt all possibilities. It’s pretty much up to you to talk yourself into some ass. There have been many a pretty boy who has sat there wondering why they didn’t get to fugg someone. Chances are he talked TOO fuggin much about ish that wasn’t important.

12). Big d*ck and  diamonds. A woman will change her mind REALLY quick when faced with either of them.

13). The safer a woman feels around you, the quicker your ass will get in the friend zone. You want a woman to WANT you. She should not feel like she can just hang around you all the time and not find herself in a compromising position. If she feels like she might catch herself on all four at any moment around you and like it…. You’re in a good place. NOT the friend zone.

14). If your mom is a good mother, but she and your woman do not get along, it WILL NOT WORK. Just like in the Jungle the Lioness is the true ruler of the Pride and there are no two lionesses in charge within a kingdom. They yield to the highest Lioness or they die. It’s the same with you mother and woman.

15). If you know your mother not to be catty and has always looked out for you before, PLEASE trust her when she tells you that the woman you brought to meet her aint sh*t. Women can sniff a slick b*tch out post haste.

16). There is a difference between a Gold Digger and a woman who expects you to be financially sound. If you can’t get a bank account or a credit card, it’s not HER with the problem.

17). If your girlfriend will cosign or put a car in her name for YOU. You’ve found a dumb chick. And if dumb chicks are your thing, you have hit the jackpot. Because no woman with good sense would do this.

18). Women NEVER forget. EVERYTHING you have done wrong is cumulative. It adds up. Please know that the sh*t you did 5 years ago on May 5th, can still be held against you TODAY. (OHN)